WANTS and NEEDS

        I have a birthday coming up soon. I was reminded of this by my brother, who is three years younger than me, and my sister, who is six years younger. I honestly hadn't thought about it, having had other, more pressing things on my mind. Every year, my family asks me the same question: What do I want for my birthday?
    I'm going to be 35 this year. Something of a milestone. It's the halfway mark between 30 and 40, at least for that one day, because as soon as you are 35 years and ONE DAY old, you're officially closer to 40 than you are to 30. That's a big deal to some people, so when asked what they want, some will half-jokingly reply "To be 30 again."
    There is a difference between what we WANT and what we NEED. I'm not just talking about birthdays, holidays, or whenever else we're expecting gifts. Just in general. When we're hungry, we say we NEED food. That part is true, but do we NEED a double-quarter-pounder with large fries and a Coke? No. We WANT it. When we're thirsty, we say we NEED  a drink, but do we NEED an iced tea or V-8?
    Granted, these needs are biological. Our body needs food and water to survive, the same way we need clothing and shelter to withstand and survive the elements. Technically, we don't NEED companionship to survive, human beings are fully capable of individual survival, but there is a difference between SURVIVAL and LIVING, the same way there are differences between NEEDS and WANTS.
    Companionship makes life worth living. Variety in the food we eat, the fluids we drink, and the activities we do transform survival into living and WANTS into NEEDS. These are not actual NEEDS, but psychological needs, the way a smoker NEEDS a cigarette or we NEED to have our cell phones or a big soft bed to sleep in. It's why you go out after a stressful day, because you NEED to get away and relax and you NEED to have a drink. It's why you go to a club or a party and look at everyone dressed nice and having a good time, because you NEED to dance and decompress and NEED to get laid.
    Ah, there's another one. Sex. Oh, c'mon, you knew it was going to come up in here sooner or later, because we NEED to discuss it. Sex, believe it or not, sex is a biological need. As animals, we have a deep-seeded need to procreate and spread the gene pool. However, as HUMANS, we are more highly evolved and refer to this urge as LUST. It's a primal thing, and all animals do it. When we see someone we consider "hot", our hormonal output increases, our body starts giving off pheromones, and we start looking for ways to impress the attractive party. We like to think it's part of a personality, but it's not. It's more basic than that. When we see someone we find attractive, it is not a WANT that draws us to them. It is a NEED.
    We NEED to procreate, and that's what it's about. Humans are one of three species that have sex for recreation, next to apes and dolphins. That's another psychological need: decompression. Humans are predisposed to stress and worry. Other species do not have the concerns humans do, yet every species on this planet has this similar need. Dogs play, cats play, squirrels play... do bugs play? Probably, in their own weird little way. But we need to relax, we need to let loose, we need to go out and have fun and yes, sometimes we need to look like idiots. It's good for the heart, it's good for the soul, it's good for the body. Keep in mind that what affects the mind and heart also affects the body, so we need to not be so serious all the time.
    There IS a difference between WANTING and NEEDING, even if they are interchangeable sometimes. I WANT to climb back into my big, comfy bed and lie down, but I NEED to get moving and accomplish something today, the same way that if you're reading this, you did it because you WANTED to, not because you felt you NEEDED to. :) Now, go and do something you WANT to do.

Disinterested? Interesting...

    I don't know how many times I have to say it, repeat it, post it: I AM NOT INTERESTED IN THIS SHIT ANY MORE.
    It's fairly simple. I've explained it to those who have asked, yet it's these same people who continue to ask. I don't want to go to these dances anymore. I don't really want to be part of this community anymore. I'm not going to bounce, so don't ask. I don't dance, so don't ask. I don't drink anymore, so don't ask. I'm not looking to score or hook up, so don't ask. In case you haven't gotten it yet, DON'T ASK.
    This world started to lose its appeal when Lucia left. Now that none of my friends go anymore and the ones who DO go are fighting amongst themselves, there is really no appeal for me to go, so I don't. My world is bigger than this, and it's more entertaining, SO DON'T ASK. That simple. I'm done talking about this now.

THE HOLE

        I hate Yale-New Haven Hospital. In case you didn't know that, I wanted to make it clear. I. HATE. HATE. HATE!!! Yale-New Haven Hospital. Not just because they murdered my wife, but because of the cycle of abuse and neglect that directly caused it.
    Every time I hear about someone in the hospital, I get nervous. I get sick. I get sick and tight-chested just driving by. My mind automatically goes to the horrific things that happened there and the terrible way she died, and I start shaking and my heart starts pounding...
    I know it's not the same with everyone. My mother, who has been a patient several times, is being released today with no complications. That's good. I've had friends who go in, and my own roommate goes there every couple weeks. He comes home fine. Doesn't change my attitude. It's BECAUSE everyone is different that this happened to my baby.
    I can't even think right now. I'm just glad mom is coming home and that they didn't make her any worse than she already was.

Just DO IT already!!!

        I haven't smoked a cigarette in years. The last time I had one was in March of 2005, on the way to our first MonsterMania Convention in Cherry Hill, NJ. I lit it in the car at the Montvale rest stop, had three puffs on it, and threw it out. I was sick with bronchitis that weekend, and the smoke wasn't helping. I gave the remainder of the pack to Andrew Bryniarski, "Lattimer" from the movie "The Program" and the new Leatherface. That was the last time I smoked a cigarette.
    A lot of people I know still smoke, and it baffles me that they're still allowed to do it. Not because I disapprove, because who am I to deny someone their vices? The reason I'm surprised it because, bit by bit, the government is making it illegal to not only smoke, but to use any kind of tobacco.
    They're doing it at such a slow and gradual pace they're hoping nobody notices. A little hard not to when they make it illegal to smoke EVERYWHERE. You can't smoke in restaurants or bars. You can't smoke in pool halls or bowling alleys. You can't smoke in bus stations, subways, Central Park, or Times Square. The state of Connecticut taxes not only cigarettes, but cigars and smokeless tobacco and is considering raising taxes AGAIN. So, here's the question: if you don't want people smoking anywhere and are making it so expensive that people can't afford it anyhow, WHY THE PURPLE BLOODY MONKEY FUCK IS IT STILL LEGAL TO BUY AND USE IT?!?! STOP MASTURBATING AND OUTLAW THE SHIT ALREADY!!!
    The thing that pisses me off the most is that marijuana, which poses the same health threats but also has medicinal value (same as nicotine), is still illegal. I don't understand that.