I know I've said this before. I KNOW I have. I hate being grouped in with people. Singers. Actors. Jews. Fat people. Democrats. Liberals.
One of the issues that really got under my skin while Lucia was sick was the way the "care" staff treated her. It was like they had a rigid set of guidelines that was universal to all patients regardless of their life, lifestyle, or situation, and it bugged the living hell out of me when they tried to treat her like a cookie-cutter case.
EVERYONE is different. The ways may be subtle, but we all have our nuances. So, when people make comments about a specific group, it bothers me. Last year's election split the country in a way not seen since the Civil War. We're in another right now, although it's a Cold War. Since the shooting in Newtown in December, the issue of gun control has once again polarized the country. The decisions of the administration have polarized the country. Everything that is said or done splits us right down the middle, and people have a tendency to group everything in black and white. That's it. Black and white. Right and left. Right and wrong. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
I'm a liberal. I believe women have the right to control their own bodies. I believe a person in love should be able to spend their life with the object of their affection, regardless of race, religion, or sexual orientation. I believe in legalizing marijuana. I believe ANYONE should be allowed to serve their country, regardless of race, gender, religion, or sexual orientation.
HOWEVER.
There are foggier issues. I don't have an answer to them, but I don't think that either liberal OR conservative sides are giving good responses, either.
GUN CONTROL: there is something wrong. I don't believe we should ban all weapons, as the conservatives believe the liberals are trying to do. The problem is not the guns that are available, although that's part of it. The issue is the guns that are already OUT there, the ones the bad guys already have and CAN get. The conservatives are right, regulating legally obtained weapons is not the issue, it's defending against the ILLEGALLY obtained ones. But how? Neither side has given an answer that to me is satisfactory.
OIL: Again, something is wrong. yes, we need to protect the environment, but we need to make it so we can afford to get to work, as well. $5 a gallon for gas is rigoddamndiculous. There's no reason for it. If we have it in this country, we need to be able to obtain it. Make it safe, make it friendly, and get it. You want to protect the people of this country? Prevent Big Oil from putting us into another Great Depression. ExxonMobil can buy Europe and North America four times over, but Joe Paycheck needs to sell a kidney to put 15 gallons in his tank. NOT. FUCKING. RIGHT.
TAXES: It's never gonna be right. Somewhere along the line between Washington and... I don't even know when, something got fucked up. Don't blame Obama, don't blame Bush, this shit was fuzzuckled before either of them. We're spending too much, but there are things we need to spend on: providing for our children AND our elderly, providing for our sick and disabled, education, defense... do I think everything should be free? of course not. I believe in working for a living and earning your keep. However, for those who are UNABLE to provide for themselves, or for those who NEED HELP, help must be provided. The elderly, children, veterans, those who have been injured or disabled in an accident, THESE ARE THE PEOPLE WHO DESERVE HELP. Addicts, lazes, people who keep pumping out kids because they're too stupid to do otherwise, THESE PEOPLE DO NOT DESERVE HELP, those who take advantage of the system. However, NOT EVERYONE WHO APPLIES FOR ASSISTANCE IS A SLACK-OFF DEADBEAT SCUMBAG. A lot of truly needy people apply for help every year, and because of a slimy minority number of bad apples, everyone suffers. THIS IS WRONG. Focus the money where it needs to go, not where the special interests, corporations, an those wealthy enough to fund an election campaign want it to go.
This is what I feel. This is what I believe. I don't have answers. I don't pretend to. I don't like some of the answers I'm hearing. Everything sounds too extreme, there's too much far left and far right. there need to be decisions made in the middle, but nobody is willing to talk, or more importantly, LISTEN. People need to stop saying NO to an idea simply because the other side said it. "Wow, the Red Sox played a good game tonight." "I don't care, THEY FUCKING SUCK." "Yeah, but they fought hard, their offense was flawless, and their defense was stalwart." "I don't care how many home runs they hit and how many batter sthey struck out, THEY FUCKING SUCK." Welcome to today's politics.
People need to learn to listen. listen to BOTH SIDES. Don't like what you hear? Tell me what works better. Explain it clearly and logically. When I ask why you disagree with something, give me facts and a logical reason why you disagree, not an answer like "because he's an asshole" or "he's an idiot." Explain to me why you disagree with it, and then give me a logical, thought out alternative. Be informed. Don't give me "They're trying to make it so nobody can legally buy a gun and then only the criminals will be armed and we'll have to rely on slow-responding police for defense" and when I ask what you would do tell me "put militias outside our schools, arm all the teachers, and allow citizens to carry M-60's in their SUVs." Know the proposed legislation and give me an alternative if you don't agree. Same with your opinions of other issues. Against same-sex marriage? Why? How does it directly affect you? Don't like the proposed budget cuts and spending measures? What would you do in the situation if it were your call?
Think. Listen. But know that not everyone is going to be the same on all the issues. Just because someone is liberal doesn't mean they agree blindly with everything being posed by one side. Just because someone is a conservative doesn't mean they're going to be all militant and hard-nosed.
LISTEN.
KNOW.
Generalizing is BAD. Grouping is BAD. We're different. All of us. MELTING POT. Remember that.
Thursday, February 21, 2013
Monday, February 18, 2013
Of Cabbages And Kings
I'm a cynic. This shouldn't be news to anyone. I know the way the world works, I know we're all different and that a great many of us will connive and plot and lie and steal and cheat to get what they want. I also know that some things are inevitable, like love, hate, birth...death.
With these inevitable things comes what I like to call the Oh Shit Moment. See, sometimes we forget that we're all Somebody Else to somebody else. Some things, regardless of how commonplace and universal they are, seem so distant and impossible to us. Before certain events in our lives, we have that moment where our brains go Oh Shit, This Is Actually Going To Happen. It's that shocked, almost incredulous realization that regardless of how much an individual we are, we're just like everyone else in some aspects.
I've had several of these. Not as many as I expected, but a decent-sized handful. When I lost my virginity, I had one of those, looking at her body and feeling the excitement and feeling my heart race as she gave herself willingly to me. When I graduated high school, and later college, that feeling of accomplishment and pride as received that parchment. When I looked at my very-soon-to-be-bride at the start of our wedding, looking at the smile on her face and seeing the happiness in her eyes as we stood before family and friends. When that same woman was lying on her deathbed, as I watched the light in her dim and watched the clock tick down the final seconds. When my father walked into my job today and said he had forty-four more days until retirement.
That's a reality there. A nudge to the reality that time moves on, that people age. There's a reality that my father is NOT a young man anymore. In a way, he is, I'll give him that. He's in his late 60s, hair and beard full gray, the flesh below the fuzz lined and yes, weary. It's a reality that both he and my mother will someday be gone, leaving me the patriarch. I hope that day is decades away, I really do, because it's not a responsibility I want. I don't want to know that one day, my siblings and I will be the elders. I don't want it.
Reality sucks. It really does. But, it's reality. So what are we going to do about it? What can we do about it? Nothing. Can't change the channel. We just have to deal with it, because it's what we've got.
With these inevitable things comes what I like to call the Oh Shit Moment. See, sometimes we forget that we're all Somebody Else to somebody else. Some things, regardless of how commonplace and universal they are, seem so distant and impossible to us. Before certain events in our lives, we have that moment where our brains go Oh Shit, This Is Actually Going To Happen. It's that shocked, almost incredulous realization that regardless of how much an individual we are, we're just like everyone else in some aspects.
I've had several of these. Not as many as I expected, but a decent-sized handful. When I lost my virginity, I had one of those, looking at her body and feeling the excitement and feeling my heart race as she gave herself willingly to me. When I graduated high school, and later college, that feeling of accomplishment and pride as received that parchment. When I looked at my very-soon-to-be-bride at the start of our wedding, looking at the smile on her face and seeing the happiness in her eyes as we stood before family and friends. When that same woman was lying on her deathbed, as I watched the light in her dim and watched the clock tick down the final seconds. When my father walked into my job today and said he had forty-four more days until retirement.
That's a reality there. A nudge to the reality that time moves on, that people age. There's a reality that my father is NOT a young man anymore. In a way, he is, I'll give him that. He's in his late 60s, hair and beard full gray, the flesh below the fuzz lined and yes, weary. It's a reality that both he and my mother will someday be gone, leaving me the patriarch. I hope that day is decades away, I really do, because it's not a responsibility I want. I don't want to know that one day, my siblings and I will be the elders. I don't want it.
Reality sucks. It really does. But, it's reality. So what are we going to do about it? What can we do about it? Nothing. Can't change the channel. We just have to deal with it, because it's what we've got.
Wednesday, January 16, 2013
The Right To Arm Bears
You can have my guns when you pry it from my cold, dead fingers.
Ironically, that's the way it usually ends.
Don't get me wrong. I am NOT anti-gun. I'm also not PRO-gun. As with many subjects, I am pro-choice. I believe you should have the choice to live as you wish, which is one of the greatest things about this country. Religion: you're supposed to be able to worship as you like. Opinion: you should be allowed to think and speak as you like. Abortion: you should be able to choose as you like. Marriage: you should be able to marry the person you love.
The operate words here are SHOULD and SUPPOSED TO. These are very slippery slopes, as are all things associated with free will. The most frustrating and aggravating thing about free will is also the greatest: EVERYONE IS DIFFERENT.
2012 was a very polarizing year, all the way to the bitter, heartbreaking end. A rash of shootings through the year brought the issue of gun control, security, personal safety, and school safety into question and into the forefront of national debate and discussion. Shortly after the movie theater shooting in Colorado, a New Haven lawyer was arrested for having a gun in a movie theater. He didn't brandish it, another patron saw it and panicked, calling the police. The lawyer had a permit, the gun was registered, he did nothing wrong. He was merely caught in the panic casued by a random act of violence on the other end of the country.
Fast forward a few months. Adam Lanza storms Sandy Hook Elementary and takes out a classroom full of first-graders and a handful of teachers and administrators. Again, the weapons used were legal and registered, and Lanza was educated in their use by his mother, who was also one of his victims.
So how do we stop this? There's a Consitutional amendment more than 230 years old that says we're allowed to own these weapons. One of the hottest debate points is the current validity of this amendment. It's a sign of the times, they say. However, specific amendments had to be made over the years to permit African-Americans to live in equality with caucasians, to allow women the right to vote and own property, to allow us to purchase and consume alcohol... the question that arises (and this is not the first time) is where do we begin and where do we stop? Do we really need to have EVERYTHING in writing? Do we need to have a black and white answer for EVERY possible issue that may arise?If there is a Constitutional issue, does every possible scenario need to be outlined and covered? Do you honestly think Jefferson and Franklin foresaw a young man barging into a school to wipe out a bunch of small children? Did anyone?
There has been past legislation concerning firearms. This is not a new issue. Every time a shooting makes the news, the debate is renewed. Here's the problem: most current control and legislation only goes back 30 years or so, back to the Brady Bill. There was a time you could walk into a store and buy not just one, but a carload of firearms at the same time. You could bring a gun on a bus, on a plane, anywhere, and not be hassled about it. It wasn't until terrorists started hijacking planes in the 70's that it became a clear issue. After the Reagan shooting, people went nuts saying it was too easy to get guns, that sometrhing needed to be done. It happened again in the late 80's/early 90's when a combination of "gangsta rap" and workplace shootings brought assault weapons into the public eye: you could just walk into the bait and game shop and buy an M-16 or AK-47 the same way you'd pick up a Winchester or a revolver. Questions began to rise, what could you possibly use a military-grade assault rifle for?
The gun lobby claimed sport and hunting. The liberals literally laughed at that, conjuring images of deer wearing bullet-proof vests and carrying high-powered rifles, cartoons of "Bambo" being published in newspapers. Ever since the inception of the Brady Bill, the gun lobby has tried to convince the public that "the government wants to take away your guns." As I said, it's a slippery slope. Are they trying to take your proprty from you? What is it the government is trying to accomplish?
What I want to believe is that they're trying to keep harmful things out of the wrong hands. The bigger question is, what constitutes the wrong hands and who decides it? There's new talk about arming teachers and arming pilots and having guards at schools. The first thing that popped into MY head was What's keeping the teachers or pilots or guards from snapping and doing the same thing these other gunmen are doing? Soldiers, marines, sailors, all trained and educated in how to properly use their weapons. Anybody besides me remember shootings on military bases?
It's a complicated thing. Legally, because of the constitution, you can't take the guns from those who legally obtained and maintain them. The problem is, you cannot foresee who will use a weapon for what. What about the guy who uses his for hunting? Or competition? Or just popping bottles in the backyard? What about the guy who has a collection he has never even fired? How can you differentiate between one of them, and the guy with a collection in his apartment planning on wiping out everyone at the local mall? What if that person, over time, obtained all their weapons LEGALLY, registered every single one of them, maintains permits for every single one of them... and then has a bad day and takes out everyone on the subway? This isn't a guy who went and bought his weapons in a back alley. I'm talking a legal gun owner, the same as Adam Lanza's mother.
Legislation may make it more difficult to get firearms NOW. What about the ones already out there, the legal and illegal ones? I'll give you an example of something. When I started working nights, my brother-in-law was uncomfortable with the idea of my wife being home alone in our house. He wanted to give her a gun to protect herself, just in case. It would be his, legally obtained, legally registered, legally owned. In HIS name. She refused, simply because she was uncomfortable with a gun in the house, and for good reason. Studies, stats, and records show that a gun is more likely to be used on its owner than on an intruder. Not to say it doesn't happen, but most often a gun owner will accidentally shoot themselves while performing routine cleaning rather than shooting an intruder or an intruder shooting them.
So what do we do? I don't believe legislation will solve the problem. I don't know what will. The problem is not the guns, the problem is US. It doesn't matter if a gun is "legal" or not. If someone's going to shoot another person, it doesn't matter if the gun is legal or not. It's human nature to destroy each other. Horrible, sad, frightening, but true. Cain killed Abel before there were laws regarding homicide. People have been killing each other since there were people, and I challenge anyone to find me the Sword And Spear Control Laws from medeival Britain. To quote Eddie Izzard, "Guns don't kill people, people do, but I think the gun helps. You're not gonna kill too many people just standing there going BANG!"
Ironically, that's the way it usually ends.
Don't get me wrong. I am NOT anti-gun. I'm also not PRO-gun. As with many subjects, I am pro-choice. I believe you should have the choice to live as you wish, which is one of the greatest things about this country. Religion: you're supposed to be able to worship as you like. Opinion: you should be allowed to think and speak as you like. Abortion: you should be able to choose as you like. Marriage: you should be able to marry the person you love.
The operate words here are SHOULD and SUPPOSED TO. These are very slippery slopes, as are all things associated with free will. The most frustrating and aggravating thing about free will is also the greatest: EVERYONE IS DIFFERENT.
2012 was a very polarizing year, all the way to the bitter, heartbreaking end. A rash of shootings through the year brought the issue of gun control, security, personal safety, and school safety into question and into the forefront of national debate and discussion. Shortly after the movie theater shooting in Colorado, a New Haven lawyer was arrested for having a gun in a movie theater. He didn't brandish it, another patron saw it and panicked, calling the police. The lawyer had a permit, the gun was registered, he did nothing wrong. He was merely caught in the panic casued by a random act of violence on the other end of the country.
Fast forward a few months. Adam Lanza storms Sandy Hook Elementary and takes out a classroom full of first-graders and a handful of teachers and administrators. Again, the weapons used were legal and registered, and Lanza was educated in their use by his mother, who was also one of his victims.
So how do we stop this? There's a Consitutional amendment more than 230 years old that says we're allowed to own these weapons. One of the hottest debate points is the current validity of this amendment. It's a sign of the times, they say. However, specific amendments had to be made over the years to permit African-Americans to live in equality with caucasians, to allow women the right to vote and own property, to allow us to purchase and consume alcohol... the question that arises (and this is not the first time) is where do we begin and where do we stop? Do we really need to have EVERYTHING in writing? Do we need to have a black and white answer for EVERY possible issue that may arise?If there is a Constitutional issue, does every possible scenario need to be outlined and covered? Do you honestly think Jefferson and Franklin foresaw a young man barging into a school to wipe out a bunch of small children? Did anyone?
There has been past legislation concerning firearms. This is not a new issue. Every time a shooting makes the news, the debate is renewed. Here's the problem: most current control and legislation only goes back 30 years or so, back to the Brady Bill. There was a time you could walk into a store and buy not just one, but a carload of firearms at the same time. You could bring a gun on a bus, on a plane, anywhere, and not be hassled about it. It wasn't until terrorists started hijacking planes in the 70's that it became a clear issue. After the Reagan shooting, people went nuts saying it was too easy to get guns, that sometrhing needed to be done. It happened again in the late 80's/early 90's when a combination of "gangsta rap" and workplace shootings brought assault weapons into the public eye: you could just walk into the bait and game shop and buy an M-16 or AK-47 the same way you'd pick up a Winchester or a revolver. Questions began to rise, what could you possibly use a military-grade assault rifle for?
The gun lobby claimed sport and hunting. The liberals literally laughed at that, conjuring images of deer wearing bullet-proof vests and carrying high-powered rifles, cartoons of "Bambo" being published in newspapers. Ever since the inception of the Brady Bill, the gun lobby has tried to convince the public that "the government wants to take away your guns." As I said, it's a slippery slope. Are they trying to take your proprty from you? What is it the government is trying to accomplish?
What I want to believe is that they're trying to keep harmful things out of the wrong hands. The bigger question is, what constitutes the wrong hands and who decides it? There's new talk about arming teachers and arming pilots and having guards at schools. The first thing that popped into MY head was What's keeping the teachers or pilots or guards from snapping and doing the same thing these other gunmen are doing? Soldiers, marines, sailors, all trained and educated in how to properly use their weapons. Anybody besides me remember shootings on military bases?
It's a complicated thing. Legally, because of the constitution, you can't take the guns from those who legally obtained and maintain them. The problem is, you cannot foresee who will use a weapon for what. What about the guy who uses his for hunting? Or competition? Or just popping bottles in the backyard? What about the guy who has a collection he has never even fired? How can you differentiate between one of them, and the guy with a collection in his apartment planning on wiping out everyone at the local mall? What if that person, over time, obtained all their weapons LEGALLY, registered every single one of them, maintains permits for every single one of them... and then has a bad day and takes out everyone on the subway? This isn't a guy who went and bought his weapons in a back alley. I'm talking a legal gun owner, the same as Adam Lanza's mother.
Legislation may make it more difficult to get firearms NOW. What about the ones already out there, the legal and illegal ones? I'll give you an example of something. When I started working nights, my brother-in-law was uncomfortable with the idea of my wife being home alone in our house. He wanted to give her a gun to protect herself, just in case. It would be his, legally obtained, legally registered, legally owned. In HIS name. She refused, simply because she was uncomfortable with a gun in the house, and for good reason. Studies, stats, and records show that a gun is more likely to be used on its owner than on an intruder. Not to say it doesn't happen, but most often a gun owner will accidentally shoot themselves while performing routine cleaning rather than shooting an intruder or an intruder shooting them.
So what do we do? I don't believe legislation will solve the problem. I don't know what will. The problem is not the guns, the problem is US. It doesn't matter if a gun is "legal" or not. If someone's going to shoot another person, it doesn't matter if the gun is legal or not. It's human nature to destroy each other. Horrible, sad, frightening, but true. Cain killed Abel before there were laws regarding homicide. People have been killing each other since there were people, and I challenge anyone to find me the Sword And Spear Control Laws from medeival Britain. To quote Eddie Izzard, "Guns don't kill people, people do, but I think the gun helps. You're not gonna kill too many people just standing there going BANG!"
Monday, December 31, 2012
Dammit, I Thought I Was Done...
I AM DONE.
There, I said it.
Years ago, I joined an online community for People Of Size. I like my women a certain way, and I myself am a bigger guy. Always have been, never found myself attractive... then I found this group.
It was fun. There were people like me who liked people like me. It was strictly online (far as I knew) so I never actually got to MEET any of the people I spoke to. Well, once or twice, but nothing but friendship came out of those. By the time I finally attended a social function, I was already in a relationship and the non-social aspect of it never came into play.
Fast forward to 2010.
Everything changed. I was widowed, I was no longer in a relationship, but I wasn't looking to be in another one. I wanted to spend time with the friends I had made over the past few years and remember the woman I had lost. I didn't notice the people looking at me.
I went to every dance and function over the next 6 months. After the third one, I started noticing. I could feel the eyes on me, crawling over me like warm spiders. I could hear the murmurs and mumbles. In my younger days, I had fantasized about being the one sought after, of being the one that they fought over and that everyone wanted. When I felt it, it made my spine prickle. It felt predatory, it felt unwanted, and it felt like I was a slab of beef about to be thrown into the wolves' den.
In short, I knew how women felt at clubs.
It was around this time that I realized something had changed. Something was different. I'm not sure if it was because I was a single guy for the first time and was seeing it in a new light, or because I was there by myself, or if something really had changed. It was different than I remembered it. It didn't seem fun, it didn't seem right...
I don't really drink anymore. In college, hells yeah and I could put it away, too, but these days, hardly. I don't pick up women on the random. Never have, mostly because I never could, but honestly my brain isn't wired that way. I have no game, honestly, and though I exude confidence in certain aspects of my life, I could never successfully seduce a woman to bed with me for the night. I'm always in relationship mode, and if I'm not, I'm in friend mode. There is no in-between, it's always one or the other.
These days, nobody seems to understand that. You see the constant question, "Can A Man And A Woman Be Just Friends?" The answer of course is FUCKING YES!!! I don't see how it cannot. I have many many female friends I do not see in a sexual light. Do I think they are attractive? Yes. I tihnk my mom and my sister are beautiful, too, but we're not gonna go there. It's technically the same thing anyhow. I will admit that i DO have female friends I once tried unsuccessfully to date, which is why they are friends, but I also have female friends of whom I have NEVER had a sexual thought. It is possible for a guy and a girl to be JUST FRIENDS.
So, because so many new people and young people and just people in geneal seem to have forogtten that it all started out as a SOCIAL site. Just because you are involved does not mean you are looking for a date or a hookup or a booty call or a relationship. It started as a place where like-minded and like-bodied people could congregate and hang out. But it seems even "hang out" has developed a different meaning. I wish I could go and have fun. I wish I could bring my girlfriend along and we could have a great time, but the truth is that it isn't what is used to be. People can't just go and have fun without someone trying to cause trouble or some kind of drama being spread. It's not like a regular club, it's more like a soap opera or reality show. It's annoying, it's aggravating, and honestly, it's just not worth the time, so I have left. Once, everyone knew who I was. Now, I don't even know who still attends. I'm fine. I don't need to tell you when I'm gone, because obviously, you haven't noticed or cared, so neither do I. It was fun while it lasted, but I have a new life now, and you are not part of it. Seeya.
There, I said it.
Years ago, I joined an online community for People Of Size. I like my women a certain way, and I myself am a bigger guy. Always have been, never found myself attractive... then I found this group.
It was fun. There were people like me who liked people like me. It was strictly online (far as I knew) so I never actually got to MEET any of the people I spoke to. Well, once or twice, but nothing but friendship came out of those. By the time I finally attended a social function, I was already in a relationship and the non-social aspect of it never came into play.
Fast forward to 2010.
Everything changed. I was widowed, I was no longer in a relationship, but I wasn't looking to be in another one. I wanted to spend time with the friends I had made over the past few years and remember the woman I had lost. I didn't notice the people looking at me.
I went to every dance and function over the next 6 months. After the third one, I started noticing. I could feel the eyes on me, crawling over me like warm spiders. I could hear the murmurs and mumbles. In my younger days, I had fantasized about being the one sought after, of being the one that they fought over and that everyone wanted. When I felt it, it made my spine prickle. It felt predatory, it felt unwanted, and it felt like I was a slab of beef about to be thrown into the wolves' den.
In short, I knew how women felt at clubs.
It was around this time that I realized something had changed. Something was different. I'm not sure if it was because I was a single guy for the first time and was seeing it in a new light, or because I was there by myself, or if something really had changed. It was different than I remembered it. It didn't seem fun, it didn't seem right...
I don't really drink anymore. In college, hells yeah and I could put it away, too, but these days, hardly. I don't pick up women on the random. Never have, mostly because I never could, but honestly my brain isn't wired that way. I have no game, honestly, and though I exude confidence in certain aspects of my life, I could never successfully seduce a woman to bed with me for the night. I'm always in relationship mode, and if I'm not, I'm in friend mode. There is no in-between, it's always one or the other.
These days, nobody seems to understand that. You see the constant question, "Can A Man And A Woman Be Just Friends?" The answer of course is FUCKING YES!!! I don't see how it cannot. I have many many female friends I do not see in a sexual light. Do I think they are attractive? Yes. I tihnk my mom and my sister are beautiful, too, but we're not gonna go there. It's technically the same thing anyhow. I will admit that i DO have female friends I once tried unsuccessfully to date, which is why they are friends, but I also have female friends of whom I have NEVER had a sexual thought. It is possible for a guy and a girl to be JUST FRIENDS.
So, because so many new people and young people and just people in geneal seem to have forogtten that it all started out as a SOCIAL site. Just because you are involved does not mean you are looking for a date or a hookup or a booty call or a relationship. It started as a place where like-minded and like-bodied people could congregate and hang out. But it seems even "hang out" has developed a different meaning. I wish I could go and have fun. I wish I could bring my girlfriend along and we could have a great time, but the truth is that it isn't what is used to be. People can't just go and have fun without someone trying to cause trouble or some kind of drama being spread. It's not like a regular club, it's more like a soap opera or reality show. It's annoying, it's aggravating, and honestly, it's just not worth the time, so I have left. Once, everyone knew who I was. Now, I don't even know who still attends. I'm fine. I don't need to tell you when I'm gone, because obviously, you haven't noticed or cared, so neither do I. It was fun while it lasted, but I have a new life now, and you are not part of it. Seeya.
The Bug-It List
Everyone has their pet peeves. Everyone has stuff that bugs them. After reading stuff online and seeing what people post on Facebook and Twitter sometimes, I decided to vent out some of my angries.
1. Bigots. Speaking mostly about racists, homophobes, and anti-Semites. Few things mystify me, but these kinds of prejudices have never made sense. I don't get it. Thinking someone is inferior to you simply because of the color of their skin or the country from which they came? It's absurd. Ludicrous. Asinine. I also don't understand being "afraid" or "intolerant" of people with a different sexual prefernce. Does it affect you? Does in intrude on your personal space? NO. So who gives a flying fuck? People will love who they love and you can't stop it, you can't prevent it, so be happy that they've found someone to whom they give their heart. It's hard enough without some ignorant bastage shouting profanity at them and calling them names. As for the last one, though it is most often related to Jewish people, Semitic is ANY Middle Eastern-based faith, so that means being against Muslims, too. Not all Muslims are terrorists, people. We NEEDNEEDNEED to remember that. Oh, and by the way idiots, you know there's a different between Middle Eastern faiths and Indian faiths, right? How the hell do you mix up Muslims, Hindus, and Sikhs? A turban does not a Muslim make. Seriously, stupidity is just...stupid.
2. Dead-beat dads. This one really boils me. My father worked his ass off to provide for my family, and I remember what things were like when he was working two jobs, nights and days, and slept all day on weekends when he could. I remember him riding his bike to the train station because he had his license suspended for speeding. I remember him not being around, but that was because he was doing his fatherly duty. One of the things he taught me when I was very young and asked why he was working so much was this: "A man will do anything he must to support his family. A man who does not support his family is not a man." I believe that, I truly do. If you're going to go out and have unprotected sex with someone, that alone shows a lack of responsibility. However, should that result in a pregnancy, take responsibility and be a fucking adult about it. Kids run away from their mistakes and fears. Adults face them and tackle them head on. Ignoring it won't make it go away, and this is a HUMAN BEING we're talking about. YOU made this. YOU created this. It takes two people to create a baby, it takes two people to raise one. BE A MAN. RAISE YOUR KIDS. Make sure they don't make the same stupid mistakes you did. THAT'S being a man. I may not have kids of my own, but I will make DAMN sure that the ones related to me are raised properly.
3. Ignorant, uninformed, judgemental blockheads. If I say something and it turns out I am misinformed or uneducated about the subject, I will admit it. If I am wrong about sometihng, I will admit it. I cannot abide by those who MUST BE RIGHT, people who THEIR WAY is the ONLY WAY. I cannot abide by people who make a judgement or a personality call about another person without knowing the person, meeting the person, or spending time with the person and simply going by what one person says about them. Like my mother used to say, "How can you know you don't like something if you've never tried it?" I've had people say things about me without ever having met me, and I didn't understand it. I've had people say things about my family, friends, or girlfriend without having spent time or met them, and it bothers me. If you've experience someone or something, you have the right to say you don't like them, but don't go sight-unseen or unheard and say you don't like someone. Never jump to conclusions, you could end up gong off a cliff.
4. Die-hard rabid supporters. This sorta goes along with the MY WAY OR DIE WAY people. I can't stand people who are contrary simply for the sake of being contrary. This is mostly in politics, but also happens with sports fans. I knew a guy in college who was such a die-hard local sports fan that he believed the only way you were allowed to be a fan of a team is if you were born and lived where the team was. For example, if you lived in, say, Connecticut, you had to HADTOHADTOHADTO be a fan of the Patriots, Red Sox, Bruins, and Celtics, and NO OTHER TEAM. It didn't matter if you were born in CT and moved to Chicago, you couldn't like the Bears according to his logic. Ever seen the picture back in the 90s of the Flyers fans beating up the Devils fan? Like that. Hooligan-style fans. Yes, I am a fan of several teams, but I'm not going to stab someone because they're wearing colors that I associate with a rival team. That's gang mentality, attacking someone because their fashion sense is different from yours. The same thing goes for politics. It's one of the reasons I don't get into politics, because it's built on a belief system. A belief system is very hard to break or bend, and people defend their beliefs with an almost religious fervor. The issue is when people go the opoosite way against a rival party simply because they're part of the rival party. I'm not a fan of hypocrisy, so attacking a member of the opposing party for something when members of yours do the same thing aggravates me. It bothers me when members of one party say they are not going to help a member of the opposing party not because they don't agree with the policy but because the idea is coming from the opposite party. Partisan politics are aggravating and annoying and accomplish nothing but build contempt for the entire system. Whichever party does it may do it with the intent of making their opponents look bad, but they only succeed in making themselves look like idiots and unfortunately, neither side has figured this out yet. That, to me, is the most annoying part. Einstein described insanity as doing the same thing multiple times while expecting different results. That's where we're at, and people go out of their minds with anger defending these people Look at this year's presidential election. It was like a reenactment of the Civbil War, but with suits and ties. It was horrible. Yes, I have beliefs and standards, but if I believe someone has a good idea that seems feasible, I will admit that. People do not like to admit they are wrong or that someone else might have a better idea, and that, the inability to compromise or admit someone may have a better idea, staggers me.
Those are my top four. There's more, but I'm not gonna nitpick, not on the last few hours of the year. These are mine. I know you have yours, and you know what? Keep em. Share em. Doesn't mean I'm gonna agree with you.
1. Bigots. Speaking mostly about racists, homophobes, and anti-Semites. Few things mystify me, but these kinds of prejudices have never made sense. I don't get it. Thinking someone is inferior to you simply because of the color of their skin or the country from which they came? It's absurd. Ludicrous. Asinine. I also don't understand being "afraid" or "intolerant" of people with a different sexual prefernce. Does it affect you? Does in intrude on your personal space? NO. So who gives a flying fuck? People will love who they love and you can't stop it, you can't prevent it, so be happy that they've found someone to whom they give their heart. It's hard enough without some ignorant bastage shouting profanity at them and calling them names. As for the last one, though it is most often related to Jewish people, Semitic is ANY Middle Eastern-based faith, so that means being against Muslims, too. Not all Muslims are terrorists, people. We NEEDNEEDNEED to remember that. Oh, and by the way idiots, you know there's a different between Middle Eastern faiths and Indian faiths, right? How the hell do you mix up Muslims, Hindus, and Sikhs? A turban does not a Muslim make. Seriously, stupidity is just...stupid.
2. Dead-beat dads. This one really boils me. My father worked his ass off to provide for my family, and I remember what things were like when he was working two jobs, nights and days, and slept all day on weekends when he could. I remember him riding his bike to the train station because he had his license suspended for speeding. I remember him not being around, but that was because he was doing his fatherly duty. One of the things he taught me when I was very young and asked why he was working so much was this: "A man will do anything he must to support his family. A man who does not support his family is not a man." I believe that, I truly do. If you're going to go out and have unprotected sex with someone, that alone shows a lack of responsibility. However, should that result in a pregnancy, take responsibility and be a fucking adult about it. Kids run away from their mistakes and fears. Adults face them and tackle them head on. Ignoring it won't make it go away, and this is a HUMAN BEING we're talking about. YOU made this. YOU created this. It takes two people to create a baby, it takes two people to raise one. BE A MAN. RAISE YOUR KIDS. Make sure they don't make the same stupid mistakes you did. THAT'S being a man. I may not have kids of my own, but I will make DAMN sure that the ones related to me are raised properly.
3. Ignorant, uninformed, judgemental blockheads. If I say something and it turns out I am misinformed or uneducated about the subject, I will admit it. If I am wrong about sometihng, I will admit it. I cannot abide by those who MUST BE RIGHT, people who THEIR WAY is the ONLY WAY. I cannot abide by people who make a judgement or a personality call about another person without knowing the person, meeting the person, or spending time with the person and simply going by what one person says about them. Like my mother used to say, "How can you know you don't like something if you've never tried it?" I've had people say things about me without ever having met me, and I didn't understand it. I've had people say things about my family, friends, or girlfriend without having spent time or met them, and it bothers me. If you've experience someone or something, you have the right to say you don't like them, but don't go sight-unseen or unheard and say you don't like someone. Never jump to conclusions, you could end up gong off a cliff.
4. Die-hard rabid supporters. This sorta goes along with the MY WAY OR DIE WAY people. I can't stand people who are contrary simply for the sake of being contrary. This is mostly in politics, but also happens with sports fans. I knew a guy in college who was such a die-hard local sports fan that he believed the only way you were allowed to be a fan of a team is if you were born and lived where the team was. For example, if you lived in, say, Connecticut, you had to HADTOHADTOHADTO be a fan of the Patriots, Red Sox, Bruins, and Celtics, and NO OTHER TEAM. It didn't matter if you were born in CT and moved to Chicago, you couldn't like the Bears according to his logic. Ever seen the picture back in the 90s of the Flyers fans beating up the Devils fan? Like that. Hooligan-style fans. Yes, I am a fan of several teams, but I'm not going to stab someone because they're wearing colors that I associate with a rival team. That's gang mentality, attacking someone because their fashion sense is different from yours. The same thing goes for politics. It's one of the reasons I don't get into politics, because it's built on a belief system. A belief system is very hard to break or bend, and people defend their beliefs with an almost religious fervor. The issue is when people go the opoosite way against a rival party simply because they're part of the rival party. I'm not a fan of hypocrisy, so attacking a member of the opposing party for something when members of yours do the same thing aggravates me. It bothers me when members of one party say they are not going to help a member of the opposing party not because they don't agree with the policy but because the idea is coming from the opposite party. Partisan politics are aggravating and annoying and accomplish nothing but build contempt for the entire system. Whichever party does it may do it with the intent of making their opponents look bad, but they only succeed in making themselves look like idiots and unfortunately, neither side has figured this out yet. That, to me, is the most annoying part. Einstein described insanity as doing the same thing multiple times while expecting different results. That's where we're at, and people go out of their minds with anger defending these people Look at this year's presidential election. It was like a reenactment of the Civbil War, but with suits and ties. It was horrible. Yes, I have beliefs and standards, but if I believe someone has a good idea that seems feasible, I will admit that. People do not like to admit they are wrong or that someone else might have a better idea, and that, the inability to compromise or admit someone may have a better idea, staggers me.
Those are my top four. There's more, but I'm not gonna nitpick, not on the last few hours of the year. These are mine. I know you have yours, and you know what? Keep em. Share em. Doesn't mean I'm gonna agree with you.
Wednesday, December 26, 2012
Century 21 Take 13
"It's the end of the world as we know it, and I feel fine..." -R.E.M.
Well, it was supposed to be. Makes me wonder if, 5,000 years from now when people find the films of Michael Bay and Roland Emmerich, they'll think we caused our own extinction. Makes wonder if they'll be right. But I'm not going to talk about the end right now. I'm going to talk about the beginning. And Continuing.
This time of the year is interesting, because it marks not only the end, but the beginning as well as... somewhere in between. A continuation of things currently happening. It's like a CD on loop that starts and ends with the same song, but the songs between change every time it plays. I think that's an apt analogy. or, better yet, the songs at the start and finish are the same, but performed in different ways by different artists. Yeah, I think that fits better. The last 6 weeks of each year are given to retrospect, introspect, reflect, compare, contrast, all those things. We reminisce, we plan, we move many directions at once. We look at what we accomplished, what goals we missed, mistakes we made, hopes and dreams both realized and dropped. We think of what we've gained and what we've lost.
I don't make resolutions. I personally think it's a way of deluding oneself. I'm gonna lose weight, I'm gonna spend and save wiser, I'm gonna help others, I'm gonna be less selfish. I don't think that works. As it's said, promises are made to be broken, and resolutions are simply promises we make to ourself. I like to be more pragmatic, and say things like "I'm going to try and spend more time with those who matter most to me," "I'm going to try and learn from the mistakes I made," "I'm going to try and learn more about myself and how to deal with that."
But, that's just me.
As each year goes by, I try to relearn more about myself. I try to discover who I am, who and what I've become in the past couple years. It's getting there. It's a constant work in progress. I always try and look at what I've gained and what I've learned instead of what went wrong and what I've lost. Sometimes that's harder than it sounds. On November 13, I lost a compainion and friend I'd had for a decade, a sweet little girl I watched grow up and developed her own personality before my eyes, who was taken suddenly and without explanation from one who loved her more than anything. My Lil Swee, my precious Ninja, my Baby Kitty. It's been the hardest loss since Lucia died for me, someone who had been a constant part of my life since the Bad Times. She came into my life because the girl I was living with at the time wanted a kitten, and she was so smart and energetic even as a baby. As she grew, she didn't really grow, but rather increased in intelligence and personality. She was always small, always light, and always there. The suddenly, without warning, she was gone. She was hurt or sick Monday night, and I sat with her on the couch and stroked her, kept her warm. When I woke the next morning, she was gone. I buried her in her favorite spot in the yard, between the two trees where she would lay in the grass during the summer and sleep. It's been hard, so hard. She would greet me when I came home, every day since she was a baby. When we bought the house, she would walk with me when I walked the dogs. She was around when things were bad, when things were good. And, as before, the challenge comes to carry on without.
"Just a cat." Not to me. She was the first pet I had, the first companion I had to take care of solely on my own. No matter what happened, for ten years she was always there for me. My pretty kitty. The neighbors always got a kick about how she shadowed me on my walks. The first time one of them asked where she was... it was like deja vu. I've been here before, and explaining a loss can be so hard.
I try to keep positive. I think about the fun and the love and all the good times. I think about her as a kitten and how we learned each other's habits and quirks. After Lucia died, she was affectionate and caring, giving me more love than she had in years as I felt me way through the pain and the adjustment, and I gave her the attention she asked for because she missed her mommy. And when Erika came around, she was as happy as I was and went back to her normal, fairly indifferent self. I remember her little quirks, the way she would side-step walk as if she were going to rub up against you but never really touched you. The way she would roll on the ground to show she was happy. The way she would sort of mumble and go "purrrp" and "rik" when she was content. She'd come when called (sometimes) and would always find a way to escape. That's why she was the Ninja. There will never be another kitty like my Swee. I wouldn't want one.
SHe was one of the big Personal Headlines this year. Go back to the start and there's so much more. My car being stolen in Philadelphia in March, being found a week later, and taking more than a month to repair. The impromptu day trip to Philly to retrieve the car, lunch at Tony Luke's, the drive back, all with Erika at my side. Three performances with Phoenix Theater, the DVD release of the movie in which I had my first credited role, an unexpected windfall from my mortgage company which allowed me to give Erika a birthday to remember. Then, at the end of October, losing my job and a couple weeks later, my kitty. Then December came with a new job and new struggles, but also with good and hopeful news.
I'm staying positive as this year comes to a close. I'm hoping that the next year yields sweet fruit, that things imrpove. I've always been a fan of education, and I look forward to what I need to learn this next year. A teacher once told me we never stop learning, it goes as we grow. I believe that. When we stop learning, we stop growing, and when we stop growing, we die. I'm not one to simply give up. I'll fight until I can't, and I won't stop until I either win or break. That's who I am. So, let's do this again. Who knows what lies around the corner. Let's check it out.
Well, it was supposed to be. Makes me wonder if, 5,000 years from now when people find the films of Michael Bay and Roland Emmerich, they'll think we caused our own extinction. Makes wonder if they'll be right. But I'm not going to talk about the end right now. I'm going to talk about the beginning. And Continuing.
This time of the year is interesting, because it marks not only the end, but the beginning as well as... somewhere in between. A continuation of things currently happening. It's like a CD on loop that starts and ends with the same song, but the songs between change every time it plays. I think that's an apt analogy. or, better yet, the songs at the start and finish are the same, but performed in different ways by different artists. Yeah, I think that fits better. The last 6 weeks of each year are given to retrospect, introspect, reflect, compare, contrast, all those things. We reminisce, we plan, we move many directions at once. We look at what we accomplished, what goals we missed, mistakes we made, hopes and dreams both realized and dropped. We think of what we've gained and what we've lost.
I don't make resolutions. I personally think it's a way of deluding oneself. I'm gonna lose weight, I'm gonna spend and save wiser, I'm gonna help others, I'm gonna be less selfish. I don't think that works. As it's said, promises are made to be broken, and resolutions are simply promises we make to ourself. I like to be more pragmatic, and say things like "I'm going to try and spend more time with those who matter most to me," "I'm going to try and learn from the mistakes I made," "I'm going to try and learn more about myself and how to deal with that."
But, that's just me.
As each year goes by, I try to relearn more about myself. I try to discover who I am, who and what I've become in the past couple years. It's getting there. It's a constant work in progress. I always try and look at what I've gained and what I've learned instead of what went wrong and what I've lost. Sometimes that's harder than it sounds. On November 13, I lost a compainion and friend I'd had for a decade, a sweet little girl I watched grow up and developed her own personality before my eyes, who was taken suddenly and without explanation from one who loved her more than anything. My Lil Swee, my precious Ninja, my Baby Kitty. It's been the hardest loss since Lucia died for me, someone who had been a constant part of my life since the Bad Times. She came into my life because the girl I was living with at the time wanted a kitten, and she was so smart and energetic even as a baby. As she grew, she didn't really grow, but rather increased in intelligence and personality. She was always small, always light, and always there. The suddenly, without warning, she was gone. She was hurt or sick Monday night, and I sat with her on the couch and stroked her, kept her warm. When I woke the next morning, she was gone. I buried her in her favorite spot in the yard, between the two trees where she would lay in the grass during the summer and sleep. It's been hard, so hard. She would greet me when I came home, every day since she was a baby. When we bought the house, she would walk with me when I walked the dogs. She was around when things were bad, when things were good. And, as before, the challenge comes to carry on without.
"Just a cat." Not to me. She was the first pet I had, the first companion I had to take care of solely on my own. No matter what happened, for ten years she was always there for me. My pretty kitty. The neighbors always got a kick about how she shadowed me on my walks. The first time one of them asked where she was... it was like deja vu. I've been here before, and explaining a loss can be so hard.
I try to keep positive. I think about the fun and the love and all the good times. I think about her as a kitten and how we learned each other's habits and quirks. After Lucia died, she was affectionate and caring, giving me more love than she had in years as I felt me way through the pain and the adjustment, and I gave her the attention she asked for because she missed her mommy. And when Erika came around, she was as happy as I was and went back to her normal, fairly indifferent self. I remember her little quirks, the way she would side-step walk as if she were going to rub up against you but never really touched you. The way she would roll on the ground to show she was happy. The way she would sort of mumble and go "purrrp" and "rik" when she was content. She'd come when called (sometimes) and would always find a way to escape. That's why she was the Ninja. There will never be another kitty like my Swee. I wouldn't want one.
SHe was one of the big Personal Headlines this year. Go back to the start and there's so much more. My car being stolen in Philadelphia in March, being found a week later, and taking more than a month to repair. The impromptu day trip to Philly to retrieve the car, lunch at Tony Luke's, the drive back, all with Erika at my side. Three performances with Phoenix Theater, the DVD release of the movie in which I had my first credited role, an unexpected windfall from my mortgage company which allowed me to give Erika a birthday to remember. Then, at the end of October, losing my job and a couple weeks later, my kitty. Then December came with a new job and new struggles, but also with good and hopeful news.
I'm staying positive as this year comes to a close. I'm hoping that the next year yields sweet fruit, that things imrpove. I've always been a fan of education, and I look forward to what I need to learn this next year. A teacher once told me we never stop learning, it goes as we grow. I believe that. When we stop learning, we stop growing, and when we stop growing, we die. I'm not one to simply give up. I'll fight until I can't, and I won't stop until I either win or break. That's who I am. So, let's do this again. Who knows what lies around the corner. Let's check it out.
Monday, November 19, 2012
Of Give And Take
"Every town...has its ups and downs...sometimes ups...outnumber the downs..." - Disney's ROBIN HOOD
It seems the past couple years have really tested our resolve not only as a society, but as individuals. At least it seems that way to me.
So much has happened to test us, to stress us, and to make us wonder and doubt.Sometimes it feels like a snowball effect, just building up and building up to overwhelm us.Sometimes it does. And sometimes it melts right before it hits us. Then again, sometimes it melts AFTER it hits us.
Either way, the point is that that snowball doesn't stick around forever.
I'm an eternal optimist. I've been told it's a personality flaw. But, seeing as I'm an optimist, I don't look at it that way. See, I tend to believe The Miracle until the very last second. Time and time again, I've waited as the clock ticked down, expecting that last minute miracle.
Most times, the miracles comes AFTER the last minute. Or, it could be a continuous thing that just takes so much time to complete a cycle we don't even notice it.There has been significant loss for so many people over the past couple years, and it certainly seems as if we're in a downswing. However, the good thing about a downswing is it eventually has to come back up.
So here we find us once again. It's fitting, I think, that this holiday comes when it does. I don't know if those who started it planned it that way or if it just happened, but either way... The year is coming to an end, things are getting ready to start over, and it's a good time to look back and reflect on what has happened during the past several months. Storms, vacations, births, deaths, illnesses, recoveries, just everything that has happened to us and those around us. Thanksgiving is just a few short days away, and that's what we do: we give thanks to whomever and whatever we feel deserves it. What are we thankful for? What do we have, what have we achieved, what have we accomplished, what did we manage this year? For those of us facing strife and difficulty, it's a chance to reassess our lives and take notice of the things we kept instead of the things we lost, the things we have instead of what we do not. This is when we turn to our family, and when they're not around, our friends.
That's where I find myself this year. It's different, I'll admit that. Because of miscommunication between my family members, I found myself without a place to go for Thanksgiving for the first time since... well, EVER. I had always come home for Thanksgiving, even when I was in college. It was always amongst family, and my family even invited some of our friends to join us if need be. This year, that didn't happen. I found myself thinking and wondering about other options. That's when Erika suggested we do something at MY house. Hm. Never done that before. OK, let's plan for that. Wait, a couple people we want to bring are highly allergic to my zoo. That's when another friend offered HER place. Hey, that works! Let's get a bunch of Misfit Toys together and have our own Thanksgiving. Kinda fitting, when you think about it. That's what it's all about, opening your doors to those in need and giving. The original concept of Thanksgiving was just that, a communal meal. Everyone put in, everyone was able to partake. This year, I will sit at a table with a small circle of my closest friends and laugh and have fun with them.
I'm not going to dwell about how I lost my job. Instead, I'm going to enjoy that my blood pressure has dropped and my foot and leg pain have decreased exponentially. I'm not going to dwell on how I lost my kitty. Instead, I'm going to be happy that she chose to come to me for warmth and comfort in her final hours. I'm not going to stress about fighting for my home. I'm going to be thankful that I have one. I'm going to love and snuggle my puppies, I'm going to love and cuddle my kitties (except for Millie because I'll lose a limb, but I'll pet her and let her cuddle ME.) I'm going to enjoy the company of my friends and those around me, and I'm going to be thankful for what I have. I do this not because I have to, not because I'm supposed to, but because I AM. I'm thankful for my home when so many have lost theirs. I'm thankful for the warmth in my life when so many are out in the cold. I'm thankful for ALL my family and ALL my friends when so many are alone during this season. I am thankful for all I have, for all I have done, for all I have achieved and accomplished, and I am HOPEFUL for all that is to come and all that I plan to do.
This is when we give. This is what we give. So give it. Happy Thanksgiving.
It seems the past couple years have really tested our resolve not only as a society, but as individuals. At least it seems that way to me.
So much has happened to test us, to stress us, and to make us wonder and doubt.Sometimes it feels like a snowball effect, just building up and building up to overwhelm us.Sometimes it does. And sometimes it melts right before it hits us. Then again, sometimes it melts AFTER it hits us.
Either way, the point is that that snowball doesn't stick around forever.
I'm an eternal optimist. I've been told it's a personality flaw. But, seeing as I'm an optimist, I don't look at it that way. See, I tend to believe The Miracle until the very last second. Time and time again, I've waited as the clock ticked down, expecting that last minute miracle.
Most times, the miracles comes AFTER the last minute. Or, it could be a continuous thing that just takes so much time to complete a cycle we don't even notice it.There has been significant loss for so many people over the past couple years, and it certainly seems as if we're in a downswing. However, the good thing about a downswing is it eventually has to come back up.
So here we find us once again. It's fitting, I think, that this holiday comes when it does. I don't know if those who started it planned it that way or if it just happened, but either way... The year is coming to an end, things are getting ready to start over, and it's a good time to look back and reflect on what has happened during the past several months. Storms, vacations, births, deaths, illnesses, recoveries, just everything that has happened to us and those around us. Thanksgiving is just a few short days away, and that's what we do: we give thanks to whomever and whatever we feel deserves it. What are we thankful for? What do we have, what have we achieved, what have we accomplished, what did we manage this year? For those of us facing strife and difficulty, it's a chance to reassess our lives and take notice of the things we kept instead of the things we lost, the things we have instead of what we do not. This is when we turn to our family, and when they're not around, our friends.
That's where I find myself this year. It's different, I'll admit that. Because of miscommunication between my family members, I found myself without a place to go for Thanksgiving for the first time since... well, EVER. I had always come home for Thanksgiving, even when I was in college. It was always amongst family, and my family even invited some of our friends to join us if need be. This year, that didn't happen. I found myself thinking and wondering about other options. That's when Erika suggested we do something at MY house. Hm. Never done that before. OK, let's plan for that. Wait, a couple people we want to bring are highly allergic to my zoo. That's when another friend offered HER place. Hey, that works! Let's get a bunch of Misfit Toys together and have our own Thanksgiving. Kinda fitting, when you think about it. That's what it's all about, opening your doors to those in need and giving. The original concept of Thanksgiving was just that, a communal meal. Everyone put in, everyone was able to partake. This year, I will sit at a table with a small circle of my closest friends and laugh and have fun with them.
I'm not going to dwell about how I lost my job. Instead, I'm going to enjoy that my blood pressure has dropped and my foot and leg pain have decreased exponentially. I'm not going to dwell on how I lost my kitty. Instead, I'm going to be happy that she chose to come to me for warmth and comfort in her final hours. I'm not going to stress about fighting for my home. I'm going to be thankful that I have one. I'm going to love and snuggle my puppies, I'm going to love and cuddle my kitties (except for Millie because I'll lose a limb, but I'll pet her and let her cuddle ME.) I'm going to enjoy the company of my friends and those around me, and I'm going to be thankful for what I have. I do this not because I have to, not because I'm supposed to, but because I AM. I'm thankful for my home when so many have lost theirs. I'm thankful for the warmth in my life when so many are out in the cold. I'm thankful for ALL my family and ALL my friends when so many are alone during this season. I am thankful for all I have, for all I have done, for all I have achieved and accomplished, and I am HOPEFUL for all that is to come and all that I plan to do.
This is when we give. This is what we give. So give it. Happy Thanksgiving.
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